Self-Care: Why It Matters When Hearts Are Heavy
When hearts are heavy and the hard updates never seem to stop, self-care can start to feel optional, or even selfish. In this episode, we explore why self-care is a basic human requirement, especially now, and how it protects your peace and capacity to live in alignment with your values.
We also share a handful of micro self-care practices you can try right away, including things like news consumption boundaries and bloomscrolling. Dr. Jennifer McManus winds down the episode with a couple of announcements on what’s coming next at PsycHope.
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Self-Care: Why It Matters When Hearts Are Heavy
Hello and welcome! You’re listening to the PsycHope Self-Help Podcast, a space for ambitious women when hearts get heavy. I’m Dr. Jennifer McManus and with nearly two decades of experience in professional psychology, I’ll be your host. This is where science embraces spirit. Each episode, we’ll explore science-informed, and often spiritually rooted, ways to support emotional wellness and reclaim your peace. Hope you enjoy the show!
Keep scrolling for the full transcript in case you want to dive into the details!
Hey there. It’s episode 56. So, it’s late January as I’m scripting and recording this episode, but it won’t be published until the first week of February. As people often do in January though, I’ve been planning for the year ahead. Specifically, I’ve been reflecting on how to best use this podcast and the PsycHope platform.
I knew whatever we did this year needed to be different from the episodes of years past. It’s important to me to make sure whatever I share here is deeply meaningful and supportive. And that’s because it’s really hard being a human right now. Our hearts are heavy.
We hear heartbreaking headlines every day, and it is understandable if you have been feeling down, overwhelmed, perhaps even at times full of rage. Maybe you’ve even had moments of asking, can I even make a difference anyway?
It’s hard to find peace and solace right now. My family and friends express this. I hear it in online spaces. I have the privilege to learn about this sentiment up close from the women I serve. And, yes, I feel it too.
Stress comes at us in so many ways.
Work demands: like performance pressure or decision fatigue.
The mental load: all the planning, remembering, anticipating.
Relationship labor: being the emotional thermostat in the room.
Endless technology inputs: the screens, alerts, news, group chats.
Body or physical stress: sleep debt, hormone shifts, inflammation, tension.
And, identity pressure: like self-image, comparisons, and that all too common nagging question, “Should I be doing more?”
Stress is not just what happens to you, it’s also what your system has to process. And that carries even more meaning when we remember our brains evolved for village-sized problems, not global, 24/7 alerts. When things get loud, tending to your inner world helps you keep living in alignment with your values.
So, with all this in mind, I knew coming into planning the episodes for this year that our core topics of self-help, stress relief, and self-care were just as important as ever.
I’m going to be really vulnerable here and I’ll admit though, I would occasionally find myself wondering, with everything going on in the world at this time, are others going to see self-care as fluff? A waste of time?
I really paused to reflect on this concern, and I’m here to tell you, I believe to my core, self-care has an even deeper meaning now. No matter what our work is, our duties, our responsibilities, maybe even our calling, a cause, something we fight for, whatever it is, with everything we are carrying in these times, self-care is essential.
Our work, our loved ones, our causes, all benefit from us feeling emotionally grounded, safe, and secure.
If you’re running on fumes, you don’t become more virtuous. You risk becoming more reactive. When you’re overwhelmed, you might fire off a message or a post from a place of adrenaline, then reread it a bunch of times, second-guess yourself, and either over-explain or disappear. Self-care helps you show up for your cause with grounded presence and strategy, not just intensity.
Bringing it over into our personal experiences and relationships…when you’re on edge, you might snap at your partner, then feel guilty, and maybe even lose a whole hour to rumination. Self-care can interrupt that spiral.
When you’re stressed, you doomscroll, possibly then sleep badly, then have less patience at work, then start wondering what’s wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. Your mind and body are overloaded. When your nervous system is not in fight-or-flight, you can respond to the hard things with clarity, boundaries, and compassion instead of overextending and pushing through on adrenaline.
Through these sorts of lenses, we see that self-care is how we protect our capacity. Not to check out, but to stay deeply present, heart-centered, and aligned with our values.
The classic oxygen mask metaphor for self-care is still so true. You put it on first so you can help someone else. We might also think about self-care as tending your inner hearth, so you can keep your light shining.
A specific type of self-care, stress relief, helps us protect our peace. Which is so important because peace supports us. Devoting time intentionally to cultivate personal peace is not denial of the heaviness around us, it can be considered an energy source for values-based living.
I hope these examples help with the commonly held myth that self-care is selfish. A myth that I’ve seen get amplified by how much is being carried right now, and how often we’re exposed to it.
Self-care is not a treat for being good, it’s a basic human requirement.
As part of highlighting the importance of self-care in 2026, I also wanted to point out something else. Even when we know all the benefits of practicing self-care, we might make an all-too-common mistake. Now, I feel conflicted saying that, because self-care is so personal, and really there is no right or wrong way to do it. Self-care is truly what works for you and supports you.
A common mistake I want to caution you on though, is waiting until you’re super overwhelmed before you even think about choosing a coping tool. When we wait until that point, our brains are already so taxed and have the least access to options. That’s why it’s so helpful to have ongoing self-care practices, and to do them even when you, air quotes that you can’t see, “don’t need to.”
This is also why I love having a short list of go-to practices you can pick from quickly, no overthinking required.
Here are some self-care micro practices you might try.
First, is a 30-second orienting reset by looking for and naming five neutral objects. This practice signals safety, reduces threat scanning, and helps you return to the present moment.
Next, is hand-to-heart, deep calm breathing by literally placing your hand on your heart and then exhaling longer than inhaling, the exhale being longer than your inhale, for about 60 seconds. This practice helps you get out of fight-or-flight by supporting activation of the parasympathetic nervous system.
Also consider cues from Mother Nature for regulation. Step outside and find one anchoring thing, like a tree, the sky, a stone. This sensory grounding approach can bring a much-needed shift in attention. Many find solace by turning to Mother Nature to help them heal.
With all the heavy headlines during these times, it’s important to share news consumption boundaries for self-care. Choose one window a day, not all day. These types of boundaries around news consumption help reduce chronic activation. News consumption boundaries also highlight that self-care isn’t about adding something extra that you must do. Sometimes self-care is what we say no to.
The last self-care micro practice I want to share with you is bloomscrolling. The opposite of doomscrolling, bloomscrolling is the intentional practice of scrolling with discernment by seeking comforting and uplifting content that offers glimmers, helps calm your nervous system, and supports values-based living, rather than pulling you into a stress spiral. Similar to the news consumption boundaries, we limit the amount of time we spend bloomscrolling by finding three positive posts to save or share, and then we move on to something else in our lives.
In addition to highlighting how self-care is necessary and especially important these days, I have another way I’ll be enhancing meaningfulness on this platform.
How we explore our core topics of self-help, stress relief, and self-care is going to shift a little bit. I’ll still be bringing you strategies and approaches backed by the science of psychology, but I’m feeling called to explore topics with you on a deeper level.
I want to share about the history of psychology with you, by going back to its philosophical roots for example, and exploring Jungian archetypes as another. And then further deepen our understanding by updating where recent science can confirm aspects of these rich psychological concepts with long histories.
I’m also so passionate about how how many science-backed strategies, like mindfulness and self-compassion, are also rooted in ancient spiritual traditions. For me, this is where the magic happens. That beautiful blend of science and spirit, the overlap of these two ways of knowing. And isn’t it interesting, I was just mentioning wanting to explore psychology’s philosophical roots and I’m reminded here that psyche, the root of psychology, comes from a Greek word that can mean breath, life, soul, and even spirit.
Now, I don’t want any of my listeners caught by surprise. So, I want you to know I will be leaning a bit more into the spiritual side with these explorations. I respect that many may prefer the exclusive science view, I’ve been there too. Please know, I will always be bringing us back to what current science tells us about the emotional and overall well-being benefits of different practices.
As we wind down, I want to bring us back to the heart of this episode. Self-care is how we protect our capacity, so we can keep living in alignment with our values. It’s not denial, it’s about building inner peace so you can respond with intention. It’s how we stay present for our lives, our loved ones, and all the things that matter.
Take what resonates with you from this episode, and simply leave the rest. If you want to begin with a small step, choose one self-care micro practice and try it for yourself.
If you’d like more support, then head on over to our website Psychope.com for self-care and stress relief resources. I invite you to explore our site where you can find all our previous episodes plus insight quizzes, DOSE happy hormone handouts, and hopefully helpful workbooks. We do have a self-care online shop with products available for purchase, but many of our resources our complimentary, just consider them our gifts to you. You can also find guided meditations and visualizations on our YouTube channel (@psyc_hope). The PsycHope website and YouTube channel are both linked in the show notes.
As we wrap up now, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to you for taking the time in your busy life to tune in today.
Much peace until next time.
The information shared on the PsycHope Self-Help Podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional help. If you think you might benefit from more than self-help, resources are listed in the show notes.
Show Notes
Episode 56, originally published on February 3, 2026.
Disclaimer
The information shared on the PsycHope Self-Help podcast does not constitute professional help nor is it a substitute for professional help. If you think you might benefit from more than self-help, here are some helpful resources:
Find a therapist:
Psychology Today, directory for locating a psychotherapist. More details here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/
Mental health crisis resources:
Crisis text line: text HOME to 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor for any emotional crisis
